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It Only Took Me 44 Years...

(Snapshot of Maui, our recent addition to the family)

What if you knew from the time you were born that you were sacred, worthy, and a powerful creator?

You are. 

That the power of your thoughts impacts everything (for better or worse) in your life. 

They do.

I get it - you may not believe all of this. Or put value on it. Years ago I had no idea... 
Or you may have done some work in your life by now and get it on an intellectual level but have yet to reach that experiential level of believing in your own worth & capacity.

Why would you?

Most of us do not get the message of being powerful & valuable creators of our lives when we are growing up.
 
Instead our parents pass down to us the conditioning that their parents had passed down to them. 

I am sure you got your own unique messages from your upbringing. Perhaps some version of being conditioned to work hard, seek approval, reach the external 'success' markers, be a 'good' person (aka fit yourself into what you have been told is good). Some version of being put on the hamster wheel of attaining which is constantly shifting and unreachable inside of a 'never enough context'.
 
Some version of having your creative expression hushed, your voice shaped in a particular direction, your spirit contracted. 

And life can get pretty small from there. 

And the tricky thing is that we often cannot see when we are inside of these constructs, cannot tell when our awareness so restricted.
 
We don't know what we don't know.

Until we start to feel a tug, a whisper, a voice, a shout, or eventually, if we don't listen, a brick over the head calling us to something more meaningful and more connected to our true being.

And what I see from where I stand after 44 short years is so much access to a possibility outside of this limited construct. Stepping outside of conditioning and limiting narratives is the primary thing I am working with day in and day out both within myself, with my clients, and across my leadership training team. 

And why bother doing this waking up thing?

I mean really, it takes some focus and some work, and some willingness to be uncomfortable.
 
Here is what I see in my own life...

It has only taken me about 44 years to begin to slip outside of the hold of this conditioning, to go beyond my own reactivity and programming of what a 'successful' life looks like. To start to create something beyond being ping-ponged around by my emotions and thoughts and fears of not being accepted or approved.

And though I thought I could do it all on my own, because that was also part of my conditioning (only ask for help if you are desperate and even then maybe don't ask), that turned out to be the farthest thing from the truth I could imagine. 

Here are a few things that being in the process (I say process because it is a forever path) of waking up has given me access to:
 
  • stepping beyond my conditioned resistance to commitment which had me only half in in so many areas of my life has allowed me to finally empower buying and creating a stable home for my family that is close to incredible friends, creating the work and lifestyle that l am excited for each day. Also welcoming our latest member of the household, Maui, whom I never would have committed to before. All this is from a woman who could barely stomach signing a year long lease!
  • creating a deep and powerful evolving relationship with my daughter that we consciously reinvent as we grow and as pandemics arise (lots of reinvention right now and releasing what parenting 'should' look like in these unprecedented times in favor of what works for us).
  • creating 'success' on my terms - not based on what I thought I should be doing - creating communities that are real and supportive, writing and interviewing people, being a healer and a catalyst, a lifestyle that creates spaciousness in my mind, my heart, and my time, fellowship with my amazing friends and family, time to meditate, cook, draw, read, and run in the woods.
  • being connected to spirit and fully realizing we are spirits having a human experience vs. humans having a spiritual experience.

And it keeps going - next for me is ROMANCE, picking up those paints I put down, and continuing to grow and serve my amazing community in the Live Your Life Awake Community.  

Isn't it time to lean in, to follow that voice whispering to you from within, calling you toward what is real and true in your life?
 
What is it your really want?
 
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